by Eugene Ahn
It’s easy for critics and movie geeks to bash Michael Bay for making stupid movies. Quite frankly, there’s a lot of truth in Michael Bay’s assertions that he makes movies for “regular people.” And a large number of “regular” people, as well as film geeks and snobs, love stupid movies. There’s nothing inherently wrong with a stupid movie, and when it comes to dumbed down action, Michael Bay is probably one of, if not THE best at creating a mindless action thriller and letting us revel in the testerone-filled orgy of explosions and chest thumping machismo that most of his fare offers. Hate the guy’s movies all you want, but it takes a respectable amount of chutzpah to pull off the immaculately idiotic Bad Boys II Cuba sequence with a straight face.
All that being said, I choose to bash Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen not because it’s a stupid movie (and don’t get me wrong, it’s plenty stupid), but because it’s concrete proof that Michael Bay thinks the audience is stupid. Clocking in at 150 minutes, every second is filled with the utter disdain Bay has for the audience’s level of intelligence. As if the plot was so complex that we couldn’t pick it up along the way, the script has the Autobots constantly talking to each other about what the Decepticons are trying to do, as well as Decepticons recounting what they are doing at that very second.
On top of that, Bay throws the U.S. military’s presence into the mix solely to have a reason for Sam and his cohorts to contact the NEST team, which leads to NEST contacting the Pentagon in an effort to update every move that the characters make. All this does is create an interminable echo chamber of redundant exposition that fills nearly every second of screen time where robots aren’t bashing each other’s heads in. Attention audience, you are simply too stupid to understand what is going on.
The obvious irony is that the story itself really doesn’t make much sense; a flaw that comes not from lack of exposition, but from inherent flaws with the script itself. At one point, there’s a shard of the Allspark, and then there’s the Matrix of Leadership, which is like the Allspark only it powers a machine that apparently destroys the Sun, which in turn would destroy the very planet that has the Energon that the Decepticons were killing humanity for. What? None of this makes sense, which is probably why Bay and team felt the need to constantly remind the audience of the immediate next step of the plot at regular intervals, to keep you so placated that you wouldn’t start to wonder how all of this fit together. (Answer: it doesn’t.)
I assume screenwriters Ehren Kruger, Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman could’ve tightened all this up with another script revision, but it’s pretty apparent that Bay assumed the action would be enough to satisfy most “regular” people. As a result, the movie is bloated with more action than it knows what to do with. And while most of the time you can trust Bay to at least deliver a good action scene, the sequences in Transformers 2 are average at best. It’s gotten to the point where even his explosions look the same, with bodies flying and geysers of dirt spraying up in multiple directions in a similar pattern through most of the film.
Bay's style of quick editing and fast camera whips, a callback to his days in music video/commercial directing, does manage to cobble together some form of stylistic pacing, but loses its effect by the first hour, as every action scene just starts to bleed into the other. Robots fight with guns. Robots fight with swords. Robots fly, robots dive, robots, robots, robots. There is something to be said about all things in moderation, which is something that Bay of course, doesn’t believe in.
In the end, the action is insulting not because it’s merely uninspired, but because it’s inherently lazy. You could spend the entire movie watching for a technically impressive shot, only to come back with a few scenes where Shia LaBeouf is running around in focus as some frenzied action takes place in the background. That seems impressive until you realize the background action is all CGI, which probably involved nothing more than Bay trying to cram as much action into any available space on the screen at every opportunity. And fill the screen he does, as robot parts scatter, missiles fly, and people hang out of helicopters or jump from exploding buildings.
When you start to actually engage the film on a level that goes beyond the purely superficial, you realize it’s completely meaningless. The rapidity of the editing leaves objects flying into oblivion and chase sequences that spin in virtual circles, as you strain your eyes to follow where, exactly, the action is going. These shots require no concentration or attention span, as the rules are reset every time Bay pulls back from a tight shot on Shia’s sweaty face or Megan Fox’s boobs bouncing in slow motion (not that I’m complaining). Say what you will about Terminator: Salvation, but at least it had that magnificent chopper one-shot in the beginning (point for McG).
All the action culminates in a final sequence that takes place literally in a sand pit and on top of a pyramid. Why a sand pit? Because it requires zero logistical planning, as characters run in straight lines either to, or from Devastator. Why on top of a pyramid? So that Optimus Prime and The Fallen can engage in a lackluster fight that involves Prime flying in circles around The Fallen, while he yells like King Kong. Say all you want about Bad Boys or Armageddon, but at least Bay used to show some joie de vive in figuring out how to ‘splode things. Now he’s content in placing gigantic robots in a sandbox and letting them hit each other until one stops working. It’s pure laziness, and it reeks of a “let them eat cake” missive to the crowd watching. If the robots ain’t enough for you, too freaking bad. That’s all you get, bitches. Signed, Michael Bay.
You can glance at any other review and read about how awful Transformers 2 is, and how much Michael Bay sucks as a filmmaker. I’m not one to bash dumb movies, or belabor the criticism of Bay for his inherent abilities (or lack thereof) as a filmmaker. The true insult of Transformers 2 isn’t in the bloated length, the terrible plot, the repetitive exposition or the laziness of the action. It’s that all of those put together show that Michael Bay didn’t make this movie for “regular” people who like stupid movies; he made this movie for people he thinks are “stupid.”
And say what you will about the general moviegoing public, but they deserve better than that, even when it comes to dumb, summer blockbusters.
* I’m not sure if this script was affected by the strike at all. If so, it definitely feels like less-than-final draft.
Eugene Ahn is the host of the People You Don't Know podcast. He's seen every summer movie there is to see in the last few years.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Michael Bay Thinks You’re Stupid: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
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16 comments:
From what I understand, the strike interrupted the writing process when all the screenwriters had was a 20-page outline of the story. While they were on strike, Bay took the outline, wrote most of the rest of the script himself, and pre-vized the action sequences. When the strike was over, the writers found that most of the script was entirely locked down. Basically you can lay almost all of the movie on Bay solely. The upshot is that he'll hopefully never have that much power again over anything.
Enough with the beating of this dead horse. Doesn't anyone at the House have anything interesting to say about this movie? Someone must have liked it, or at least appreciated its occasionally awe-inspiring visuals? We're all aware of Bay's many deficiencies, but describing his filmmaking as 'lazy' is just nuts; the guy is fighting a one man war against boredom like it's the Germans at Stalingrad.
hmm, how long till the "chris nolan is worse than bay, hitler, and every pedophile ever" comment? i'm guessing that one is a few comments away still. amirightorwhat, bros!? The Serious Film Bloggin' Bro Club will not fall for the hipster nihilism of chris nolan, right bros!? right.
but yeah, keep beating the dead michael bay horse. he thinks his audience is dumb, has contempt for them, is laughing all the way to the bank, blah blah. jesus this shit is getting old and i don't even like michael bay (i'm indifferent to him and have zero interest in seeing transformers 2).
Don't blame the author. Blame me. This was supposed to go up closer to the film's release, but I've been traveling and just never got the chance (or the stable Internet connection) to post it. So if it seems a little odd to see a Transformers article this late, that's my bad.
Between this post and the post about the top 5 movie scientists, this blog is slowly becoming one of my favorite destinations
In the comments section of Robert Humanick's review of Transformers 2, I wrote that I enjoyed the movie and tried explain why. Since then, I've seen it four more times, and I think I may have been too harsh in my somewhat-ironic praise of it.
I now believe that Transformers 2 is a pop masterpiece, and possibly the best movie of its kind since the 80's.
I think what might be throwing people for a loop is that, in our modern heavy-handed times, most movies that promise us adolescent thrills make us pay for those thrills by enduring countless scenes of "oversocialization" and sophomoric bong-hit philosophy. Transformers surprises us in that it's having none of that shit. It just dives right in to its big, broad comic book story and never lets up. Whenever the movie gets sententious, it lightly satirizes itself, or the sentiment being expressed is so basic that it's inoffensive. Thankfully, this isn't a movie that wants to make you a better person.
Could I just suggest that you use the "say what you will about _________" construction a bit less?
also...something else that I think might be throwing off some of the movie's many detractors is its refusal to hold itself above mass culture...unlike Joe Dante's Small Soldiers (a movie that the first Transformers closely resembles) which hypocritically critiqued war toys while using them to generate excitement.
Transformers 2 might have had an easier time, media wise, if it were glib (e.g. Planet Terror). Of course, it probably would have bombed horribly...but it would have gotten better reviews.
I will one up you and say Speilberg also believes the audience is stupid. There once was a time when the man cared about his place in cinematic history, where he would abruptly pull his name from credit of any kind if the film was horrendous. But alas here is Speilberg producing the second in a planned trilogy of idiotic loud films.
z, as you are probably the smartest person on Earth to have submitted themselves to TF2 a staggering five times, a question: does Bay's action attain something like clarity? And do the jokes become funny?
I am so tired of the reactionary Transformers fans that get their Underoos in a bunch every time someone tries to point out that Michael Bay's I'm-skull-fucking-your-cerebral-cortex-with-CGI-porn filmmaking is just plain stupid.
Grow up. Some of us need a bit more from our Summer fare than vapid human blow-up dolls, endless pyrotechnics, and Autobot-eroticism.
A,
While it's impossible to argue comedy, I did find the movie to be as successful in its attempts at humor as any other comic-book inspired movie released in the last ten years. (It's not like Spider-man, Iron Man and Lord of the Rings aren't chock full of juvenile gags). The jokes that didn't work for me (and there were quite a few) didn't bother me so much because they all seemed to be part of the crazy Saturday-morning cartoon universe that the Transformers movies take place in - you could call it "pop world" - which is, in many ways, as stylized as anything in the Wachowski Brothers Speed Racer. Most of the human characters are, basically, cartoons who could have stepped out of some modern version of an Archie comic book. I enjoyed that. I also enjoyed it when the movie at least attempted to entertain me during the family scenes, instead of playing them straight...as if this story were about anything except cartoonish momentum.
I think there actually is an over-riding intelligence and visual rhythm to the action scenes that makes them nearly hallucinatory...and more wildly experimental then the artiest of art films. Action-wise, the only movie I know to compare it to is Sam Peckinpah's The Wild Bunch, which features action scenes that seem frenetic and nearly incomprehensible on the surface, but are, in fact, wildly expressive. Of course, that's not to say Bay is the equal of Peckinpah, just that Bay's what Peckinpah might have been if he had grown up in the suburbs watching Star Wars, had no problem with commercial culture, and his masculinity were playful instead of boozy, rotting and self-destructive.
z,
I saw TF2 again this afternoon, approaching it more or less freed from the weight of expectations, ignoring its political/moral/etc. dimensions and without trying to apprehend and interrogate every image and cut i.e. the way I expect most people experience movies. And weirdly, it was pretty amazing.
Bay may have "advertising porn in his soul" and the mind of a closeted frat boy chimp, but watching TF2 in this way, its appeal became obvious. He really does have a genius eye. There is an amazing fluidity to it, and you're right, the action scenes are mesmerizing. If I was 10 years old, TF2 might be the best film I had ever seen. There's something to be said for approaching films on there own terms.
"The upshot is that he'll hopefully never have that much power again over anything."
Yes, I am sure after the movie rolls past $400 million ($339,208,000 and counting) at the box office, Bay will never get an opportunity like this again.
Not saying the movie was any good, just saying that your comment illustrates a profound misunderstanding of why people get to do things in Hollywood.
Oh my. This review was written better than Transformers 2.
Good article, Eugene. I've not seen ROTF yet, but will probably check it out nonetheless. At least my expectations are low, so I might be pleasantly surprised.
Although, I notice that the 'big dumb action film' tag is being used more and more to excuse a multitude of sins.
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