By Justine Elias
Does the SciFi Channel have the shortest pitch meetings on record?
The network has far surpassed Lifetime (Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?) in the priceless Movie of the Week title championships. Sunday Dec. 14, a day of aquatic and finned suspense climaxes at 9pm with Sharks in Venice.
TRAILER:
SCHEDULE:
- Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, 9am
- Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, 11am
- Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep, 1pm
- Croc, 3pm
- Supergator, 5pm
- Raging Sharks, 7pm
Sharks in Venice is a 2008 original, starring Stephen Baldwin, Bashar Rahal, and Vanessa Johansson. It's an entirely believable tale of "a man who must brave shark infested Venetian waters to find treasure and rescue his kidnapped girlfriend."
We're gonna need a bigger boat!
Lock yourself into your sharkproof cage and lower yourself into the deep waters of terror. If only SciFi had secured the broadcast rights to the Sealab 2021 episode featuring the movie parody Tinfins ("Let's go fishing!")
Brought to you by Grizzlebees.
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Justine Elias is a legal assistant for a non-profit public health organization, and writes about film and television for the Boston Phoenix and other publications.
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4 comments:
AHHHHHHH! mother. fucker. this exceeds me.
these assholes must know what they're up to, right?
fuck yea sharks.
barf!
The copy that this is "Sci Fi Saturday" despite premiering on Sunday. Nice to see them sticking their guns to this lapses in logic stuff.
Maybe SciFi's webmaster was so pleased with himself after creating the photoshop gondola eating shark, he called it a day. And watched ROCK MONSTER.
Please, please, please let the main shark be wearing a red hood.
Either way, Homo Sapiens Sapiens has now reached the pinnacle of abstract thought. This is like a Childhood's End moment for our species. From now on, everything else will be but a footnote in the annals of history. We have taken our first step into a larger world.
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