Saturday, December 30, 2006

Afro fantasia: Bill Condon's Dreamgirls

By Steven BooneRemember that scene in The Blues Brothers where Jake Blues catches the Holy Ghost while watching James Brown lead a leaping, flying congregation of black folks in a gospel blowout? That’s the spirit -- the soul -- of Dreamgirls, Bill Condon's film adaptation of the long-running Broadway musical. Writer-director Condon adores the most spectacular, super heroic aspects of what used to be called The Black Experience as surely as Blues Brothers director John Landis loves JB’s permed pompadour. It’s all flying negroes and flying hair. As embarrassed as some white critics (and one White critic) have been about Dreamgirls’ lumpy mix of flamboyant negritude with bland, cruise ship arrangements of faux Motown pop, black audiences have mostly returned the love. Here, the music’s quality matters less than its thematic resonance; the characters’ thinness and broadness are less important than their vibrancy and familiarity. Dreamgirls is a white moviemaker’s sorta wrongheaded but sincerely besotted Afro fantasia, destined to go in the Ebony subscriber’s collection alongside Carmen Jones, Wattstax, Sparkle, The Color Purple and Coming to America. Love is what keeps this parade float of a movie aloft -- until a failure of nerve and insight built into the Broadway original sends it floating far away from emotional reality on the helium of hope.

Dreamgirls is the saga of girl R&B group The Dreamettes (later called The Dreams) rise and Supremes-style dissolution across the 1960’s and 70’s. Despite denials surely demanded by various entertainment lawyers over the years, Dreamgirls is clearly the story of Berry Gordy’s Motown, his love affair with Supreme Diana Ross and the rude way he ejected singer Florence Ballard from the trio. Gordy saw beautiful Miss Ross as having more crossover appeal than the more talented but average-looking Ballard, so he made Ross the lead. It’s a classic tragedy of 20th Century American music: The black artist-entrepreneur who can’t rise without selling his soul or somehow destroying his musical kin. August Wilson’s stage masterpiece Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom is the great drama on this subject; Dreamgirls has always carried the potential to be the great musical of same. That potential evaporates during the Hollywood ending, in which the Dreams reunite with their downtrodden Ballard, Effie White (Jennifer Hudson) and Gordy figure Curtis Taylor Jr. (Jamie Foxx) realizes he’s the father of Effie’s daughter. The moment is pure Spielberg Color Purple redemption. The group’s Ross, Deena Jones (Beyonce Knowles) hugs it out with Effie onstage, smoothing over a decade of betrayal, humiliation and outright theft of Effie’s music.

Bullshit.

Florence Ballard died poor and unheralded at 32 while Diana Ross collected Oscar nominations and Grammys. Dreamgirls is set up for just such a tragic conclusion, but Tom Eyen, who wrote the Broadway show’s book, chose to let Effie live. The trouble isn’t that Effie survives but that the powerhouse singer returns to the stage a compromised, chastened also-ran who’s just happy to join in on the show's blandest song. If you’re going to dream a happy ending for Effie, why not one in which she truly wins? Let Taylor’s Rainbow Records crumble behind its payola schemes and overspending while the American pop audience turns against pretty, empty Deena, embracing Effie’s kind of earthy, unruly Soul.

But an ending which doesn’t treat the Dreams reunion as the travesty it is just doesn’t ring true. Effie’s failure and death would have jolted the complacent, historically ignorant, musically incurious viewer into the reality that pop isn’t an American Idol meritocracy -- that there’s a lot of musical treasure out there beyond the charts and the official story. Dreamgirls doesn't indict the racist, Faustian American recording industry, merely the ruthless ambition of Gordy types. In the end, Curtis senses the error of his ways and lowers his head penitently before all the folks he’s wronged over the years. Yes, he’s a musical Mister from The Color Purple! (To compound the deja vu, the real Mister, Danny Glover, as an industry sycophant turned benefactor, beams from the audience at the reunion he helped orchestrate.)

But, as with The Color Purple, none of these weaknesses will stop black moviegoers from loving Dreamgirls to pieces. The last time I saw a predominantly black audience get so excited about a flick was at a screening of Robert Townsend’s The Five Heartbeats (the male Dreamgirls) in 1991. Dreamgirls looks like a more lavish, stylized fraternal twin of Townsend’s film. Both have a storybook sense of the ‘60s and are at something of a loss at how to encapsulate the 70s.

But Condon’s visual flair out-dazzles Townsend’s televisual storytelling. Every grand entrance, turnabout and epiphany gets a dizzying Die Hard room-to-room whip pan, swooning crane shot, or spine-tingling slow fade out. This director has some Stanley Donen, some Bollywood, in his blood. He uses these chops to keep a fearsome momentum but also to underscore the spirit of the age Dreamgirls depicts. In the montage that traces Rainbow’s rise from car dealership to fledgling record label, Condon captures the blushing bride excitement of young black folks bursting out of the Civil Rights era with a crazy dream, money cobbled together from myriad hustles and the bravery that comes from having absolutely nothing to lose. Right on. This is the romance of wage slavery emancipation most of Dreamgirls’ working stiff target audience pursues in real life, with their side hustles and off-the-books home businesses. (In one scene which confirmed that the audience I was sitting in was falling madly in love with the movie, Taylor conscripts a young typist from a crowd of applicants outside the Rainbow office, but when he notices her overlong manicured fingernails, he starts to turn her away. She instantly snaps off the fake nails and bounces on into the office. The applause and laughter that erupted from the audience at that moment was pure, grateful recognition. We all been there, sister.)

Condon realizes that the performances are his best hope of drawing out such resonance and overcoming (or even slightly subverting) the stage musical’s tidy resolution. It hardly matters that the central characters are so wildly inconsistent in motivation, they seem to have split personalities. (Curtis goes from slick, transparent manager-pimp to ingenious grassroots visionary to Ike/Suge/Papa Joe oppressor; Eddie Murphy’s Jackie Wilson-styled James “Thunder” Early similarly oscillates between cartoon ladies man in curly conk and glitter vests and supersensitive cokehead Marvin Gaye in soul brother denim jacket.) Whatever emotion or position the characters happen to be pushing at a given moment, Condon makes them hurl it out from the diaphragm and the heart. So even though Curtis ultimately comes off as a manipulative, womanizing hustler, somewhere in there we get a just as convincing glimpse of his human, even heroic, side -- his ambition to conquer markets and pop culture terrain outside the chitlin’ circuit; his obsessive love of Deena as a regal personification of “Black is Beautiful.” Likewise, although generally there isn’t much chemistry between any two characters in the film, the communal love overflowing in the ensemble number “Family” is convincing enough to induce a crying jag. It helps that Condon tops it off with the loveliest, least saccharine group hug in cinema history.

Of course, most folks are rushing to Dreamgirls for two reasons: To find out if Jennifer Hudson’s rendition of “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” really stacks up to Jennifer Holliday’s iconic version; and to see just how quickly her presence and singing voice blow Beyonce off the screen. Well, those expecting a weak performance from Beyonce will be delighted/confounded to find that she has become a decent actress. After a few robotic performances in a forgettable MTV “Hip Hopera” and an Austin Powers flick, she actually showed growth and promise in 2003’s The Fighting Temptations. In Dreamgirls, she plays, well, basically herself -- a young Diva whose beauty and ties to management give her a power she’s not too comfortable with. And, yes, playing basically yourself in a context that invites self-consciousness does qualify as a bitch of an acting challenge.

As for Hudson, you’ve heard it all by now. She’s miraculous, touched by the same force that sent Jake Blues somersaulting to the pulpit. In middle age, she will make a legendary, inevitable Ma Rainey. In the meantime, we’ll probably have to endure years of a Ho’wood shuffle, with Hudson trading maid uniforms for gray wigs for jail suits. Time will tell if, unlike the recording industry depicted in Dreamgirls, Ho’wood has learned anything from a performance by a plump black woman that makes you want to climb into the screen and make passionate love to her. Um, maybe I should speak for myself -- but at the screening of Dreamgirls I caught, Effie’s cry, “And you’re gonna love meeee” was answered by a live chorus of ordinary Joes: “We do, ma! We do!”
__________________________________________________
Steven Boone is a New York-basic critic and filmmaker, a contributor to Vinyl is Heavy and the publisher of the pop culture blog Big Media Vandalism.

27 comments:

Ryland Walker Knight said...

On point: I couldn't stop laughing. Most likely, I will not see DREAMGIRLS. As much as I'd like to believe Beyonce has improved as an actress, it's a big leap of faith. And honestly, after your review, I feel like I don't need to at all: nothing sounds appealing to me. I'd rather just listen to the real deal. Or watch THE BLUES BROTHERS. All that glitter makes my eyes hurt...

AFKAP of Darkness said...

Despite denials surely demanded by various entertainment lawyers over the years, Dreamgirls is clearly the story of Berry GordyĆ¢€™s Motown, his love affair with Supreme Diana Ross and the rude way he ejected former lover and lead singer Florence Ballard from the trio.

I don't think Ballard ever had a romantic relationship with Gordy... and she wasn't necessarily the lead singer, either. Originally, the three girls took turns singing lead until Berry made Diane the definitive leader.

Steven Boone said...

Oh, I'd definitely say none of the musical numbers in Dreamgirls is as entertaining as The Blues Brothers, but I did enjoy the hell out of it, for all its wild inconsistencies and "flaws."

But in my imagination, in the mental vault with Hitchcock's Titanic and Sam Raimi's Batman, there's a much crazier John Landis Dreamgirls, written by Joel Schumacher.

Kj said...

I'm not even trying to think about seeing this nonsense, but thank you, Ryland, for calling all those involved out. Is there really a chance in hell that this thing might walk with the best picture Oscar? O powers of the univerese, help us.

Happy New Year & Peace y'all!

KJ said...

I meant to say thank you, Steven. Thank you, Steven.

Matt Zoller Seitz said...

Editor's note to Afkap: I think Steve knows that, but the passage was written in such a way as to confuse the fictionalized characters and the real people. It's been changed for clarification's sake. Good eye.

AFKAP of Darkness said...

Editor's note to Afkap: I think Steve knows that, but the passage was written in such a way as to confuse the fictionalized characters and the real people. It's been changed for clarification's sake.

Ah yeah... I kinda got that feeling, but yeah, it was a little confusing.

Great piece, otherwise!

odienator said...

Well, those expecting a weak performance from Beyonce will be delighted/confounded to find that she has become a decent actress.

We weren't watching the same movie. While she's not as bad as Mariah in Glitter or Miss Ross in Mahogany, she is still somewhat painful to watch. Great to look at, but painful to watch. Until her big "this shoulda been a Mary J. Blige song" Listen, Beyonce has very little to do in the way of performance. Her big battle sequence with Hudson before Effie's big number has her blown off the screen by both Hudson and Anika Noni Rose. If Effie had slapped Beyonce, and people in my theater were demanding that she do just that, Beyonce would have exploded like John Cassavettes at the end of The Fury.

Perhaps Beyonce shoulda sang that catchy "please Sweet Jesus, stop them from playing this so goddamn much on the radio" Irreplaceable. That at least sounds like her style of "you go girl!" song.

Like Bill Condon and Ed-DEE, I was in the audience back in 1982 when Jennifer Holliday made And I'm Telling You Yada Yada Yada into the Broadway classic favored by years of Showtime at the Apollo Amateur night contestants and drag queens. I thought the theater was going to come down around me that night; I've never had a Broadway experience like that before or since. Hudson acquits herself quite nicely, pitching the song at a movie-friendly level. Watching Jennifer Holliday in that youtube clip was rather horrifying; it worked so much better live, with her seemingly threatening to come into the audience.

A lot of the problems you cite in your review have their roots in the Broadway production. Condon's crime is a far too slavish devotion to the musical as it existed on Broadway, but his direction and the performances by Hudson and Ed-DEE (who walks off with this picture) save Dreamgirls. Like you, I enjoyed the hell out of it despite its flaws.

I have a major problem with this:

As embarrassed as some white critics (and one White critic) have been about Dreamgirls’ lumpy mix of flamboyant negritude with bland, cruise ship arrangements of faux Motown pop, black audiences have mostly returned the love.

and...

But, as with The Color Purple, none of these weaknesses will stop black moviegoers from loving Dreamgirls to pieces.

What is this supposed to imply? That, had less White critics been embarrassed by the film, its embracing by Blacks would be more respectable? That Black people would accept what these critics deem an inferior product simply because it's about us? This level of critical segregation really bothers me, as I'm sure not just Black people love Dreamgirls to pieces. It does films like this a disservice because it not only implies that which I stated earlier (that Blacks are too stupid to know "quality") but it also implies that the only audience for a predominantly Black movie is Black people, so why make them? This is the exact way Hollywood thinks.

For the record, I don't own a copy of Sparkle (great music, bad movie, horrifying dress homegirl has on at the end--haven't seen it since it came out) and, while Ms. Dandridge's Carmen was hotter than any Black woman was allowed to be back then, her performance is the only good thing in that film, so I don't own a copy of that either. Coming to America is a different story: I own that. I laugh at the familiarity of the barber shop, jHeri curl and church show scenes, and I laugh hard. It's a comedy, so I suppose that means it does its job. Sexual Chocolate!

Speaking of Sexual Chocolate:

a plump black woman that makes you want to climb into the screen and make passionate love to her.

I'm with you on that.

Steven Boone said...

Lord, lots to say.

afkap and Matt, thanks for catching the Ballard gaffe. Yeah I knew, but my typing hands moved a little faster than my command of the facts on that one.

Odienator, you said, "What is this supposed to imply? That, had less White critics been embarrassed by the film, its embracing by Blacks would be more respectable? That Black people would accept what these critics deem an inferior product simply because it's about us?"

'course not, but I do think that some flicks short circuit a viewer's critical faculties, and Dreamgirls looks like one of them. It's so gorgeous and, in many ways, flattering to a black audience (yes, a BLACK audience) that its flaws seem trivial. Sometimes resonance trumps taste, especially for those of us black folks down here below the 30k/yr line who are starving for images that express our (yes, OUR) unique struggle in dramatic, pop art terms. Anything inside the ballpark doesn't necessarily merit a medal but should be savored and pondered.

I remember seeing House Party as a teenager, and the lovesick lump in my throat at watching Tisha Campbell in a romantic closeup. I had never seen a black girl look so beautiful and sweet on the big screen before. I suddenly understood why my elders got so excited about blaxploitation gahbage like Coffy. Diamond in the dirt.

As for segregation, what's so shocking about that? It's a fact of life in America. Just because you and I don't practice it in our moviegoing doesn't mean it isn't a prevailing force in the culture.

People will continue to dis Beyonce's performance the way Brokeback Jake Gyllenhal got ignored in favor of Heath Ledger: The bolder, more aggressive role always looks like the greater accomplishment. At a glance.

I love this, though: "If Effie had slapped Beyonce, and people in my theater were demanding that she do just that, Beyonce would have exploded like John Cassavettes at the end of The Fury."

You don't own Carmen Jones. But do you subscribe to Ebony? Jet? See? See?

Noel Vera said...

On Beyonce's acting: she gives a decent performance in David Anspaugh's Wisegirls, alongside Mira Sorvino. Nice ensemble cast, nice ensemble performance.

AFKAP of Darkness said...

was Beyonce in Wisegirls, Noel?

surely you mean Mariah Carey?

or did i miss her in it (i've only seen it in bits and pieces on cable...)

Matt Zoller Seitz said...

There's a few references on the Internet to Beyonce being in that, but I don't see any authoritative source saying she was in it -- and I saw the movie and don't remember her being in it.

Steve makes a couple of points in this piece that stick with me. One is that Beyonce's getting on-the-job training as an actress and still isn't there yet, but she's got a certain likability that carries her over the rough patches. In "Goldmember," she pretty much sucked, but she looked so fab -- like a blaxploitation poster come to life -- that I never minded being stuck with her for a couple of hours. (I felt that way about Christina Milian in the borderline incompetent "Get Shorty" sequel "Be Cool" -- she was more a competent ingenue with great pipes than an actor, but she was sweet, and the movie didn't ask too much of her.)

Steven Boone said...

On the Beyonce thing:

To me, it's all a part of the whole syndrome of mistaking an attractive personality for a strong performance. In the case of Dreamgirls, Jennifer Hudson is as skilled an actress as she is charismatic. Beyonce has less of a challenge, playing a kind of vapid pretty girl out of her depth and saddled with coveted genetics she never asked for (yes, playing HERSELF), but she meets that challenge. If you think that's so easy, watch Mariah Carey's nuclear failure at playing herself in Glitter.

Faulting Beyonce's acting for making Deena weak and unlikeable is like saying Shelley Duvall's performance as pathetic Wendy Torrance in The Shining is itself pathetic.

And I'm sure there's a lot of people who missed how good Matt Damon was as the [SPOILER--->] tragic phony in The Departed because Leo's character was the one they root for.

It's all part of a larger phenomenon of Ho'wood actors losing or gaining popular stature for reasons that have fuckall to do with their abilities. It's the mirage that has folks (including world class film directors) believing Johnny Depp can act (rather than just mug and mimic) while disregarding a brilliant actor like Cuba Gooding, Jr. because he's done his best work in some idiotic flicks.

odienator said...

SB: You don't own Carmen Jones. But do you subscribe to Ebony? Jet? See? See?

I used to subscribe to both Ebony and Jet, but the triflin' way those heifers handled my subscription (yeah, that's right, I said "triflin'" and "heifers"!) forced me to cancel both of them. My favorite Ebony error came when I didn't get a magazine for six months, then they sent me all six at once. Still, you'll find me at the checkout line looking at the Jet "Beauty of the Week."

SB: but I do think that some flicks short circuit a viewer's critical faculties, and Dreamgirls looks like one of them.

You know what another one is? Inland Empire! (it makes no fucking sense, but hey, it's David Lynch so it's gotta be about something!! FOUR STARS!!) See, that's an unpopular thing to say out here at the House, something that might get me, pun intended, lynched.
Picking on Dreamgirls is easy.

SB: People will continue to dis Beyonce's performance the way Brokeback Jake Gyllenhal got ignored in favor of Heath Ledger:

No...Jake was good, even if Gene Shalit was afraid Jake was going to bust out of the screen and ask him to rub mustaches with him. If there's anything that could cure an attraction to men, it's Gene Shalit.

Beyonce is another story. It felt like Condon was not confident with her performance. The role as I remember it on Broadway seemed to be flashier and thicker. I felt sorry for Beyonce, not for her character, because it really felt like she was over her head. The only scene she's comfortable in is her "Listen" number.

Regarding House Party, I was older than you when I saw it. I remember disliking much of it, then two weeks later, going back to see it again (I was dragged) and falling in love with it. That feeling you felt with Ms. Campbell, and I felt looking at some of the shots Condon employs of Jennifer Hudson, was seeing a normal "around the way girl" getting the treatment we'd give her if we saw her on the street in our neighborhood. More than one girl in my neighborhood got those close-ups in my mind when I was a teenager. Of course, the camera moved down and got stuck a little lower, and for that I apologize, ladies.

As Cuba Gooding Jr's doppelganger, I couldn't leave here without commenting on your notion that he is "a brilliant actor." I think he's great in Boyz, Jerry Maguire and even that movie he was in with (GASP!) Beyonce. He's an actor who can express joy and pathos in ways that are infectious (witness his Oscar speech which, sorry, is exactly how I would have done it, except I would have thrown my Oscar upside Bill Conti's head first). But I can't go to the brilliant level with you. I just can't. I saw Boat Trip and Lightning Jack.

Steven Boone said...

-Odie, you triflin heifer, you know damn well that nobody orders subscriptions to Jet but barbershop owners. (Was it just my neighborhood, or did other dudes in other cities flip open barbershop copies of Jet to find the Beauty of the Week page sloppily torn out? All you'd get was a glimpse of knee or thong strap. Relief came at the checkout counter.)

-I do think Condon scaled the Deena role to Beyonce's strengths/weaknesses, so I'm sure if I was there for the B'way Deena like you, I'd be less forgiving.

-Alls I know about Cuba is that he made me cry in Boyz in the Hood, brought out a stirring subtext to The Fighting Temptations that almost saved it from its Carbon Copy-style racial drag-assing, and, in Rat Race, pantomimed heatstroke and uttered the word "vagina" in a wheezing panic not seen since Stir Crazy. Brill. Yant.

-Inland Empire wouldn't have to make sense if it were beautiful. I think critics and Lynch diehards are meeting it halfway, which is something I never try to do. I wasn't givin up nothin to Dreamgirls at the gate, and it wound up tugging on my heart, drawing me in.

odienator said...

Steven, when I was a kid, I rarely got my hair cut at the barbershop. I had a big-ass 'Fro that my Pops would shape up for me. When I was a teenager, however, I let the barbershops in NYC and in Jersey City do all manner of horrible things to my hair with clippers, things I regret and that no one can see pictures of...EVER! At those barbers, they were more thorough in their removal of the Jet Beauty; you were lucky if you saw an ankle or a small piece of exposed thigh. The mailman on my block (who was a crackhead!) would also remove the Jet Beauty from my subscription, causing me to sic my Doberman on his ass one day. Nobody pulls the hot chick picture out of my "ghetto Cliffs Notes."

I'm starting to think that The Departed is going to sweep the Oscars, and Dreamgirls will get the nod for costumes, sets, and Ms. Hudson. I don't think Eddie Murphy will even get nominated, which is a sin because he's the best thing about the movie. I've got plenty of side bets on Marty getting the Oscar.

As far as movie musicals go, I know we're getting Hairspray, but I'd love to see Spike Lee take on Bring in da Noize, Bring in da Funk.

I agree with you on critics meeting Lynch halfway on Inland. I also believe that if Lynch pulled a Warhol, and shot three hours of my toes, scoring the "footage" to Nina Simone, critics would hail it a masterpiece because Lynch's name was on it. There'd be a big sloppy piece about it on this blog discussing my flat feet as a symbol of being worn down by oppression or some shit like that. Symbolism...sigh.

Rhea said...

I have not seen the film yet, but I was lucky enough to be working in the entertainment press in Boston on the night that "Dreamgirls" opened for out-of-town tryouts. So I got to see/hear Jennifer Holliday sing that amazing song live for the first time! So many years later, I still remember the power of that performance.

Matt Zoller Seitz said...

Odienator: As far as movie musicals go, I know we're getting Hairspray, but I'd love to see Spike Lee take on Bring in da Noize, Bring in da Funk.

Actually, Lee talked about doing a movie version of that for a couple of years, but for reasons I don't quite understand, it never happened. Ditto another potential Lee musical that I was dying to see -- a proposed black/Latino update of West Side Story.

Then of course, there was the long-awaited Spike Lee version of Rent, which ended up being directed by...Oh, God, do I need to type his name and invoke bad karma?

It's clear that the man has a serious jones for musicals -- even his nonmusical movies tend to turn into musicals at some point. I wish he'd scratch that itch as often as possible. I suspect he'd be great at it, if he got to make more than one, and develop that side of his talent in a sustained way.

Matt Zoller Seitz said...

I typed too soon -- I just found a news brief that said Lee was never officially attached to "Rent," but lobbied hard for it, to the point of auditioning people in NYC in early 2001.

And of course, one could argue that a Lee-directed West Side Story would be redundant after School Daze.

odienator said...

Matt: I wish [Spike would] scratch that itch as often as possible. I suspect he'd be great at it, if he got to make more than one, and develop that side of his talent in a sustained way.

As much as I love the School Daze soundtrack (I'd gone through three cassettes of it before getting the CD), the movie is Spike's biggest disappointment for me. (Note: biggest disappointment, NOT worst movie.) Lee certainly showed he had musical chops, and had the film been pitched at the same hilariously mean and satirical level as its Straight and Nappy number, it would have been a masterpiece. All that pseudo-Animal House shit he put in was a waste of time.

Maybe Spike can do Jelly's Last Jam or hook up with Tony Kushner and do Caroline, or Change. Or he could give Maria Von Trapp an ultra perm and show us how truly alive those hills were!

Steven Boone said...

matt and odie,

I heard Spielberg was going to revisit The Color Purple by adapting the musical, but decided to just insert more songs into the original using CGI.

Nah, just playing. But I wouldn't blink if it did happen.

Spike should stick to musicals the way John Singleton should stick with action flicks.

Kino said...

when i was a wee lad i saw Dreamgirls SRO, with Jennifer Holiday. She was/is one of a kind in the role. the sheer power and stamina, and grace. i'm curious to see how Hudson handles the role.

as a promotion for the movie, regional and community theaters around the country (atleast in the northeast)..were encouraged to stage the show last year without paying the royalty fees you usually have to pay when putting on a broadway show. i saw one of the production up in Stamford Conn. Kids from as far as the Bronx, Queens and Brooklyn(!) came to perform in the show... The stage show is a true endurance test. Almost non stop, full-on from the gut singing..and that these kids did so well in a three hour show, i was in awe. Of course the choice comments i heard from some of the white folks on the board of the theater were as follows (i guess my skin color made them assume i was a sympathetic listener): (classic hand to the side of the mouth, eyes in opposite direction discreet comment).Y'know they got tons of black churches in connecticut. all they had to do was go into one of them and get anyone eager to do a show. I don't get it."..um that's a nice...yeah okay. So any black person will work for free..nice..um..gotta go to the bathroom dude.

anyway..i got to hang with the cast after the show and it was a lesson in heart and soul. especially the girl who played Effie. Staring at me in zonked out exhaustion.

odienator said...

Kino: um that's a nice...yeah okay. So any black person will work for free..nice.

As a Black person, the only way I would have done it for free is if I could have played Effie. Scaring the shit out of people would be worth it, especially since there is "no way, no no no no way" I'd be convincing. :)

As for that Spielberg CGI comment: Steven Boone, you buggin'! Seriously, I heard that Spielberg was going to use CGI to replace Harpo with Harpo Marx, and Oprah was going to redub her famous line with "You tol' Harpo to BEEP me!"

Kino said...

odienator..hilarious!

as a white person...i had the chance to sing "Got me a Cadillac" as the Pat Boone-ish vegas act...but had to pass on it. what i could have done with that role. To scare the shit out of the audience with that would have been worth it.

Steven Boone said...

odie,

I want you to get busy writing a musical comedy remake of Sweet Sweetback's Baadaass Song to send to Spike's office.

Or The Toy.

Don't argue with me on this. Just do.

(where the fk you been all my life?)

odienator said...

SB: I want you to get busy writing a musical comedy remake of Sweet Sweetback's Baadaass Song to send to Spike's office.

(Opening Number, entitled "A Baadassss Song," sung by three Afro-clad women and one hippy-ish White woman)

He's big, he's Black
He's the Sweetback!
Tryin' ta shake da Man off of his back
(woh-woh-woh-woh!)

He gives no slack!
He's a main mack!
Runnin' like Jesse Owens
On crack!
(He's one fast bro!)

This is Sweet Sweetback's
Baadassss song!
Two a's
and five s's!
When he gets under our dresses
We scream go, bro, go!!!!
You's a bad Negro!
Sweet Sweetback!
(cue wah-wah guitar solo!)


I'm so going to hell.

Matt Zoller Seitz said...

Yeah, but with a song in your heart.